What is Self Love
regard for one’s own well-being and happiness (chiefly considered as a desirable rather than narcissistic characteristic).
With February being the month of love, I thought this would be a great time to talk about the importance of self love.
Self love used to have a negative reputation, being linked with vanity and selfishness. However, it is now being seen as a necessity for wellbeing and happiness.
The biggest challenges regarding self love
Previously it was believed that loving yourself was a sign of arrogance. Therefore making self love be seen as a flaw or as an unappealing quality. Thankfully, those old beliefs are starting to be left behind. Now, the main issue lies in the actual act of loving yourself.
The main challenge is that most of us have been putting ourselves down for so long. Therefore we wouldn’t even know where to start with self love. The majority of us have spent so much of our lives taking in the criticism of others and ourselves. Now that’s all we can hear and think about. Furthermore, most of the voices in our heads are so automatic that we don’t even realize we are thinking them, or that we have the ability to change them.
Another issue is that many people are too busy waiting for a certain achievement, or for other people to love them first. Moreover, people don’t realize that they will never truly experience love, until they feel it from the inside out.
Once you can learn to love yourself and your life, regardless of who’s in your life or what you have, you will achieve true happiness. Unfortunately, most people have the mindset of needing something or someone to complete them before they can love themselves or their lives.
For example, a lot of people think, “once I get a boy/girl friend” or, “as soon as I get this promotion,” I will be happy. But when you depend on other people for your happiness and self approval, it is now out of your control.
Self love starts with your mindset
The time you spend waiting will pass anyways. So, you can waste that time being miserable and upset until you get it. Or you can make the most of your time and enjoy what you do have.
After all, what if you never get the job or the person you want? Are you going to spend your whole life upset based on something that is out of your control?
I hope not.
In order to live a happy life now, you need to change your mindset. Instead of waiting for something that you cannot control, start being happy now. Regardless of your circumstances.
When you have that mindset you take the pressure off and allow yourself to live your life in the moment, and enjoy it. On the contrary, when you are so focused on what you don’t have, you tend to be oblivious to the wonderful things you do have. Furthermore, if you hype something up too much in your mind even if you achieve it, you might get let down. It might not turn out exactly like you had hoped. Then you will have spent that whole time waiting, for nothing.
Plus, I am a big believer that everything happens for a reason. So, if you didn’t get what you wanted, it means that there is something even better in your future. Now if something doesn’t work out the way I wanted it to, I am excited, knowing that something better is coming!
Self love is really not that complicated
Self love is actually very simple;
once you understand what it means to you.
It is different to every person, hence the self love.
The part that is the same for everyone, is that we need to learn to accept ourselves as we are. Then we need to take it a step further and celebrate ourselves as we are.
The most beautiful, kind, and magnetic people are those who love themselves and life. They may not actually be the most beautiful or successful person in the room, however, their energy can lead you to believe otherwise.
People who truly love themselves have this wonderful loving energy that they carry with them and put into everything they do. Other people tend to be drawn to them and actually like them more.
It may seem like the reason they are so happy is because they have it all. But, in reality, they only look like they have it all because of their attitude.
Once you start to change the way you see yourself, you will change the way you see your life. You will also change the way you see others. Additionally you will even change the way other people perceive you.
Self love is not about being perfect, just stop being so hard on yourself
I am not saying it’s easy.
But it is so worth it.
Self love is something that I have been working on a lot over the last two years. And I can honestly say that the change in the way I view myself has lead to a happier, more successful and fulfilling life.
So just stop being so hard on yourself. Start looking for things you like about yourself, instead of looking for flaws.
You are good enough. No matter what you were taught, told or believed your whole life up until now.
Everyone deserves to be happy in their own skin and enjoy their life. To read more about what I believe the secret to happiness and self love is, check out this blog post.
Love yourself first.
When you do this you will not only be happier because you will no longer need to rely on others to boost your self esteem, but you will also have more love to give to others. By changing the way you see yourself, you will change the way others see you.
Self love is not about thinking your better than anyone else. Self love is about knowing you are not less than any one.